Is The Home Depot Kidnapping Story Fake News?

Recently one of my family members on Facebook shared a picture of a letter from the Oregon unemployment office denying the request for unemployment compensation for a former Home Depot employee by the name of Dillon Reagan. The stated reason for the denial of the request for unemployment compensation was due to Reagan being fired, and therefore ineligible for compensation. The rejection letter explicitly stated that he was fired for trying to thwart a kidnapping, which to any decent person would seem like a ridiculous and callous reason to fire anyone. This made my fake news senses tingle so I investigated further.

Leftists have been calling for a boycott of Home Depot for Pro-Trump remarks made by the founders of the company. Both founders Ken Langone and Bernard Marcus have been very vocal about their support for Trump and his economic policies, as well as his border wall ambitions. In looking at Dillon Reagan’s public Facebook profile it becomes evident that he’s a typical Portland leftist. Numerous memes and videos showing his support for illegal laborers, communism and hatred for Trump can be found immediately on his page, but it gets even weirder…

The timeline of his firing is very suspect and the “kidnapping” event turned out to be nothing but a domestic disturbance with no charges being filed against anyone. The alleged kidnapping event occurred on May 12^th and his Facebook posts show that he was fired on June 9^th, nearly one month after the incident. Even more odd is that the unemployment compensation denial form from the Oregon unemployment office shows that he was fired on June 19^th, which may just be a typo but is still notable and suspect within itself coupled with the wording on the form stating that he “assisted the police in preventing a kidnapping”.

This whole story stinks of fake news and politically motivated slander against Home Depot and leaves me with a few questions:

11)      Why would there be a gap between his alleged misconduct and his firing?

22)      Why would his reason for termination be so detailed about him “assisting the police in preventing a kidnapping” when the final police report wasn’t for a kidnapping but rather for a disturbance?

33)      Does the Oregon unemployment department go off of what former employees state their reason for firing is on their termination papers?

44)      Who was the manager that fired him and what are his/her political leaning and personal relationship with Reagan?

55)      Who was the couple that created the disturbance and is there any connection between them and Reagan?

Hopefully answers to these questions will be revealed as this story picks up momentum in the mainstream media. As for myself, I think this is a coordinated attempt to financially hurt Home Depot for being a company under Trump supporting, conservative leadership. 

Enhanced Interrogation Techniques Return To Gitmo

    With the terror threats rising in the world, the Trump administration has decided to return to Bush era methods of gathering valuable intelligence from prisoners at Guantanamo Bay Prison that have ties to terrorism. While the practice of waterboarding has been collectively shunned by the liberal community and international governmental bodies, Trump has devised a way around the public concern for humane treatment of war prisoners. 

Instead of using waterboarding, the new accepted method of torture has been designated as severe tickling. The practice itself is quite effective and everyone gets a laugh out of it. Terror suspects are strapped to a chair and tickled with various objects until the valuable intel possibly leading to the defeat of targeted terror cells is gathered. The vibe at Gitmo is one of change and optimism with the coming of the new method.

In a video recorded session of severe tickling posted on Youtube, terror suspect, Yuukin slobmuhknobbi, can be seen succumbing to the torture. He is seen strapped to a table being tickled on his neck with a feather duster screaming for mercy.

"Hahaha! No! No no no! Seriously! Hahahaha! Ow! Ha ha! Oh my God! Ha ha ha ha! Ok, I'll take you to the leader of ISIS! Hahaha! Just stop! Arrggghhh! Ha ha ha ha! Mommy!!!

Yuukin slobmuhknobbi during severe tickling

Many on the left still have reservations about the ethics of the practice and some have even created opposition groups citing that they remember being tickled endlessly by their siblings and how unpleasant the experience became after a few seconds.

President Trump has denied any media requests for a response to those opposed with severe tickling opting to instead release a tweet stating: "Dorks, meet me at the flag pole after school."