With the terror threats rising in the world, the Trump administration has decided to return to Bush era methods of gathering valuable intelligence from prisoners at Guantanamo Bay Prison that have ties to terrorism. While the practice of waterboarding has been collectively shunned by the liberal community and international governmental bodies, Trump has devised a way around the public concern for humane treatment of war prisoners.
Instead of using waterboarding, the new accepted method of torture has been designated as severe tickling. The practice itself is quite effective and everyone gets a laugh out of it. Terror suspects are strapped to a chair and tickled with various objects until the valuable intel possibly leading to the defeat of targeted terror cells is gathered. The vibe at Gitmo is one of change and optimism with the coming of the new method.
In a video recorded session of severe tickling posted on Youtube, terror suspect, Yuukin slobmuhknobbi, can be seen succumbing to the torture. He is seen strapped to a table being tickled on his neck with a feather duster screaming for mercy.
"Hahaha! No! No no no! Seriously! Hahahaha! Ow! Ha ha! Oh my God! Ha ha ha ha! Ok, I'll take you to the leader of ISIS! Hahaha! Just stop! Arrggghhh! Ha ha ha ha! Mommy!!!
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| Yuukin slobmuhknobbi during severe tickling |
Many on the left still have reservations about the ethics of the practice and some have even created opposition groups citing that they remember being tickled endlessly by their siblings and how unpleasant the experience became after a few seconds.
President Trump has denied any media requests for a response to those opposed with severe tickling opting to instead release a tweet stating: "Dorks, meet me at the flag pole after school."
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