50 people were brutally killed Saturday night when a lone gun walked itself into Pulse nightclub in Orlando Florida and proceeded to massacre innocent party-goers. Ultimately becoming bored with the fracas, the lone gun then decided to turn on itself and shoot itself in the barrel, thus ending the parade of violence. Survivors of the massacre stated that the gun was screaming, "Madafie Kabira!", which translates into, "Guns are great!" in Arabic.
When conservative guest Morky Mork on 'The Joe Schmoe Show' on MSNBC speculated on whether or not this was an act of religious terrorism in the name of Gunslam (a religion of peace), the other guests immediately pointed out the blatant intolerance and ignorance in Morky Mork's comments and he was immediately blacklisted from any cool parties with Sean Penn and Cher.
President Obama made a statement at a later press conference from his vacation home in Mecca stating, "Morky Mork's comments are not who we are as Americans! We stand for tolerance and we will not stand for any Gunslamophobia!"
Presidential hopeful Donald Trump made a statement of his own suggesting that all guns should be inspected before entering the United States to make sure that they have not been radicalized by Gunslam (a religion of peace). Trump's remarks created a wildfire of controversy among young liberals who have accused Trump of racism for his remarks. Trump fired back at the liberals on Twitter by tweeting, "Deez nuts, muthafuckazzz! Gonna make America great again! Come at me, bro!"
Radical, racist, redneck, republicans later chimed in on the conversation via various social media outlets suggesting that perhaps there was a human behind the attack. Their absurd claims were of course summarily deleted by Hillary Clinton and Mark Zuckerberg's crack team of deletion specialists and SWAT teams were dispatched to their homes where several family pets were killed.
The story is still developing.
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