Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Thousands of Dead Voters Rise From The Grave On Voting Day!




In a unsurprising turn of events, thousands of deceased voters rose from the grave on Tuesday to go to the polls and show their support for Hillary Clinton.

When stopped and questioned by Illegal Satire's man in the streets, Jerry Boberry, zombie and Democrat voter, Ida Robinson, stated that she's been waiting for 4 years to be able to come out of her resting place for the chance to vote for Hillary Clinton.

"Oh lawd hammercy, child! We got a woman to vote for this time? Praise the lawd! Things they are a changing! Last two elections we got to vote for a nice mulatto gentleman and now a woman? I tells ya, the democrat party is surely the party of the people!"

Fellow zombie and former republican voter, Johnie Karls, was in disagreement with the Democrat party's choice of presidential nominee this time around.

"In my life I was always a republican but since I've been dead I've been a faithful and loyal democrat voter. This presidential election cycle has been a let down for me personally. I was hoping to vote for Donald Trump but as a zombie it's impossible. Being deceased and a registered voter has its perks but it also has it's downsides. We are forced to vote for democrats but at least we get to wake up every election season and cast our vote. Meh..."

When questioned about their right to vote and whether or not it's fair to include the votes of the deceased, the crowd of zombies immediately became enraged with our reporter, Jerry Boberry, and ate his face off while chanting "RACIST!!!"

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